I'm a mess-- LITERALLY. I'm all sweaty, my hair's stringy and tangled, I've been breaking out, and I have dark circles under my eyes. Gosh, what school work can do.

I've been on the go since yesterday, trying to accomplish all the assignments given and studying for tests at the same time. It just so happened that today, we had assignments that required LONG procedures. I'm actually worried, because I still have to memorize my news report and I have no idea where to begin.

I already finished writing my Filipino essay and one fourth of my math homework. I ate dinner in a jiffy, and I actually told my mom that I wanted to slice myself into two so that I'd have two of me to finish my school work. She laughed and told me how proud she was because I'm really working hard and aiming for A's.

I'm tired and worn out. I wish I could just curl up and sleep.

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I had the longest day ever. Don't you just hate Mondays? It can be a real drag.

I love Fridays, and sometimes Wednesdays, but never Mondays (unless there are no classes). Monday is the start of the week, which means there are four more days to go 'til the weekend.

Classes have resumed, and it's back to waking up on the uncivilized hour of 5:30am. I would've slept all day if I could. I kept hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock to enjoy 10 minutes more. Unfortunately, I had to get up and drag my feet to the dining table for breakfast.

I had a delicious breakfast consisting of oatmeal mixed with Milo and a tall glass of milk. Yet I barely tasted my food. I mentioned in my previous entry that I was looking forward to go to school the next day, but the excitement pretty much disappeared. I absolutely detest Mondays.

So far, my day turned out well. Normal, in fact. But the hours dragged by. I kept staring at the wall clock, watching the seconds go by. Even my classmates weren't that enthusiastic. Most of them were sleepy.

When it was time for French, I was excited because it was the last subject-- and I got to be with my best friends since we all chose French for our elective class. I had so much fun with Camille, Chelene, and Claire.

Camille and I made plans to go to Ateneo and watch the Sibol production along with Vico and Joaquin after our review class on Saturday. I still have to ask permission though, but I can hardly wait. I just love watching musicals.

Tomorrow's Tuesday, and I hope that it would turn out well. I'm prepared for our quiz in Math, and I'm ready to report in our Research subject. I can't wait for Wednesday, because it would be our last day for the week. We don't have classes on Thursday and Friday, praise the Lord.

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Last Friday was so much fun! I went to Eastwood with OC.

We both watched Transformers 2, and it was BRILLIANT! Too bad the movie was long. I was trying to hold my bladder for two and a half hours. Megan Fox was absolutely gorgeousss, always and forever more. We bought a ticket for Nicole but she couldn't make it at the last minute. I miss her.

We met up with Chris, Max, Luis, Joaquin, Jake, Nigel, Mark, Tal, etc. after.

We separated ways after that. I ended up playing billiards with Joaquin, and he was so good at it. I kept putting the cue ball in the holes which made me feel lousy and inferior. I hate losing. I try to become excellent in everything I do, even if I'm new to it. Oh well, I guess coming in second isn't so bad-- sometimes.

Today's Sunday, and there's school tomorrow. We had a four-day break due to the AH1N1 virus, but we were bombarded with so much homework. That pretty much sucks.

But I'm looking forward to go to school tomorrow, because I am beyond prepared to hand out all the assignments due. I did everything religiously, and exerted effort in all my school work. I am proud that everything I do is no longer out of mediocrity-- although sometimes I get tempted to procrastinate (especially in French) but so far, I haven't succumbed to the temptation.

Anyway, I just realized that I have to finish what's left of my French homework, and it's a huge struggle for me. I find the words difficult to comprehend and to pronounce.

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I am happy to anounce that I have made an account in another blogging community: the infamous xanga.com.

The reason why I made an account in Xanga is because you have the privilege of having more layout options and you can go crazy with the CSS box. I absolutely delight in HTML, so I opted to make an account in Xanga.

I am not leaving Blogspot, I am simply going to manage both accounts. From now on, all my posts in both accounts will be identical, so feel free to check out whichever.

You have the option to view my postings in Blogspot, or in Xanga.

To view my newest account, click HERE




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Class may have been suspended-- but we have homework in ALL subjects everyday (especially in Physics) thanks to the brutal teachers of St. Paul. Every morning, they email us the work we have to do, which takes up all my time!

I barely have enough hours to spare to review for the upcoming UPCAT. I did my Math homework today, which I finished in 3 hours. I'm not particularly happy about that. I already finished my Lab Report along with the assignments for the following subjects: English, CL, Physics, and Research.

I still have to do stuff for Music, P.E., Filipino, French, and Economics. And there'll be more homework in Physics tomorrow.

I'm EXHAUSTED! I'm trying to keep up with the fast pace of the school. I'm taking a ten-minute break, which I'm using to compose this entry while trying to snack on a big can of Planters Cheese Balls.

After my ten-minute break, I will proceed to do the rest of my assignments-- hopefully I can finish them all by tonight. Tomorrow, there'll be a new Physics assignment and I can do that in the morning and review in the afternoon.

I'm really stressed out and extremely BUSY. We're supposed to use our school-free days to REST and stay healthy in order to combat the AH1N1 flu. Apparently, St. Paul decided to load us with school work. Sigh, life is hard to understand.

Anyway, my ten minutes are up. Please pray that the storm wouldn't hit Metro Manila tonight. Stormy weather equates to black outs, and I cannot possibly work in the dark. I HAVE to FINISH EVERYTHING by tonight.

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Finally, after waiting for the longest time, St. Paul decided to shut down. Hallelujiah!

Classes will resume on Monday (boo!) and we already have SO MUCH HOMEWORK! We have assignments in Physics EVERYDAY. The break's too short, but then I guess it's better than nothing.

I have already fixed my schedule. The first half of the day is STRICTLY reserved for school work, and the I plan to use the remaining half to review for the college entrance exam. Socials and gimmicks are not part of my schedule, which means total disconnection from the world, but I alloted time for blogging so it's good.

I can't afford distractions, because the UPCAT is only a month away. I need to focus and really UNDERSTAND every solution to every equation. I know that in the end, everything will pay off. It's going to be worth it.

I don't really mind all the school work every day. It's better than doing nothing. I don't understand HOW my friends can relax. We have homework everyday, in every subject, and they're planning on watching Transformers 2. I don't get how they do it.

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I've been absolutely confused lately. And unhappy. And lost. And lonely.

Maybe it's because of the fact that I haven't made any friends yet. Sure, I get along with some of my seatmates but they have their own thing going-- and I wouldn't want to intrude or anything. For one thing, I hate being the odd one out, or the third wheel. Whatever you call it.

I miss my friends terribly, but they're all in section one. It's hard to start over, especially when you're so used to being with your BFFs everyday for 8 hours.

Last year, when the teacher gave us free time or when the teacher's absent and we finished our seatwork early, my friends and I would sit in a circle, knee to knee, and just talk about random things. It made time go by faster, and we end up having so much fun.

This year, it seems different. I find it hard to adjust and adapt to the environment. After the seatwork given, I just sleep or doodle in my planner, wishing hard that I was in a same section with my friends.

Life is just so unfair. I'm looking forward to graduation. I'm in no hurry to grow up, but the sooner I'm out of St. Paul, the better. St. Paul's where I experienced all the pain and turmoil, and rarely pleasant things. I used to loathe my school with such passion, but now, I just want to get it over with.

I've been lost and emotionally unstable. Studying keeps me sane and distracted, but that's about it. I hate it when I have NOTHING to do. It makes me think of all my problems, which I've been trying to compartmentalize for as long as I can remember. Somehow, I can't seem to move on-- no matter how hard I try. It's like there's a bondage that's holding me back.


I miss my previous section, my previous classmates, and my best friends.

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I have so much homework to do. I slept at 12midnight, and I still have so much to do. Senior year's killing me-- physically, mentally, emotionally, socially.

I can't believe how many invitations I've turned down because of the load given to us. We have more than three assignments per day, and more than 2 quizzes to study for. It's brutal, really. There used to be a maximum of three assignments per day before, wonder what happened to that.

My parents are going to America in October. They're staying in San Francisco for about three months or so, in order to transfer my dad's citizenship unto me. I hope that the embassy permits my dad to do so. They already forwarded their papers and paid 20,000php just for that.

I'm going to miss them so much, but at the same time I'm really excited. The thought of having my dad's citizenship transferred unto me is so cool.

Anyway, I'm really really tired. So I'm going to hit the sack now. Oh come check out the Site my best friend and I made.


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I decided to make my standards higher. I will not settle for B-pluses in my report card. Everything I do must be A-worthy.

I've been extremely busy trying to catch up with all the school work and lectures I've missed. To my disbelief, I missed more than four quizzes. I also missed A LOT of seatworks and group works that I cannot make up for. Sigh, that means I have to ask for extra-credit work to pull up my grade to a solid A.

We have so much to do, so many assignments due on Monday next week. It's a good thing that I have a few extra minutes to spare, otherwise I wouldn't be able to compose this entry.

I'm panicking, because I was absent during a lab experiment and now our teacher is making us do another lab report about it. I HAVE NO IDEA how a Vernier or Micrometer Caliper looks like. I don't even know the functions of a Caliper.

I'm trying to understand the questions provided, but no such luck.

I came home at 4pm and I immediately took a nap. I told my mom to wake me up at 5:30 so I can study for the UPCAT. My nap was not enough. At 5:30, I was feeling LAZY while I tried practicing on advanced Algebra equations and complex fractions. I was so ready to procrastinate and go back to sleep.

But as I continued to force myself to answer, I realized that Math can be so much fun! Either that, or I'm just really in a soupy state. Haha, I can barely think. I feel frantic, and seeing my 'to-do-list' makes me want to dry-heave. I HAVE SO MUCH to do, but I can't seem to function.

Have you ever had days like this? I'm trying to manage my time by making all sorts of 'to-do-lists' in my planner, but it only makes me panic even more. At this rate I'm going, I'm gonna be so stressed out, and I'd probably lose more weight. UGH it sucks to be skinny!

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I'm well enough to go to school tomorrow, thank the Lord. Big thanks to those who prayed for me. Apparently, the Cervarix flu shot I had last March paid off. It reduced my temperature, and I feel so much better.

I'm JUBILANT!!!

I'm ready for tomorrow, and I cannot wait to face all the school work tomorrow. I already did the assignments due for tomorrow, and reviewed for our quiz in Math. I feel absolutely ecstatic. I'm looking forward to all the lectures instored for us.

I DETEST doing nothing. I absolutely hate lying down in bed, watching the time go by, waiting until 5pm to be able to text my classmates for the homework or quizzes we need to study for. I despise missing quizzes, seatworks, and group projects.

I do hope that I won't get sick-- ever again.

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I am not happy.

I did not go to school today. My temperature was above 39 degrees-celsius, and I've been experiencing all sorts of pain in my body. When my mom found out, she immediately concluded that I had the flu. Not the AH1N1 though.

I couldn't help but feel terrible, occasionally cursing myself for getting sick. I worked EXTREMELY hard on all the assignments due today, and I did my best to analyze and study various equations for our Math quiz. I hate being absent.

I love going to school because of all the work given. I enjoy sitting in class, listening to the teacher drone on and on. Taking down notes makes me feel jubilant, and I'm the happiest whenever I get the highest grade in class. I exert dauntless efforts in all my school work, and I try to contribute my leadership skills in group projects, etc.

I hope I get better soon. I hate missing the lectures and notes. Sure, you can study the lesson at home but it's still not the same thing as listening to the teacher explain.

It sucks to be sick.

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I was on the go yesterday, no time for procrastination.

I went to my dad's office at 2pm because my friend, Jino, offered to help me study for the UPCAT and ACET.

Jino's one of my best friends, and I believe I'm really lucky. For one thing, Jino's GENIUS! Jeeeh-neeeyus. He used to be part of the honor's section in Ateneo (all the way) and he's AMAZING with numbers. He's good in Math (boo) and I guess it's his passion.

He can do all sorts of things with numbers, and he can manipulate the given to come up with an easier solution-- all on his own. He passed the UPCAT and ACET, but he went to study in Ateneo because he's part of the Director's List and he's on some sort of scholarship. Some people are born lucky.

I can go on ranting about Jino's Math abilities, but I'm not a Math freak myself so.. Moving on.

I realized how much I want to get into UP or Ateneo. I never wanted anything so greatly. It's my one way ticket out of my crude high school, and into the GREENER pastures. The course I want in UP is Architecture, and the course I want in Ateneo is Legal Management. I'm determined to pass both schools. I fixed my schedule. Every day for an hour and thirty minutes, I will study Math (Algebra, Geometry, Trigonometry) and a bit of Science. NO ONE can stop me from attaining my aspirations in life.

After a long discussion on Advanced Algebra, Joaquin and I went to Jzone together. After that, we had dinner. We got really bored, and we weren't in the mood to study so.. Joaquin suggested something extemporaneous. He said: "Well, now that Mega Mall's just across, why don't we go Ice Skating?"

Ice Skating. I remember there was a time when I used to be so good on the ice. Not figure skating, but more of Ice Hockey. I never really learned how to spin or twirl or to do the Lutz, etc. I used to skate on the ice with speed-- and just skate. But then it's been so long, and I wasn't sure if I had the skill.

Joaquin and I decided to check the price. It said that it was 350php per head. I told Joaquin that it was too expensive. Just then, the security guard approached us and made a special deal: 350php for THE BOTH OF US. I asked if it was legal, and he simply replied: "Yes, because it's nearly closing time anyway." So we took his word for it, bought socks, and rented skates.

My skates felt really used, and I was thankful for purchasing socks. After all, the skates were rented and it'd be totally unsanitary if I didn't have socks on. How many people have used the same skates? Who knows.

Anyway, when I stepped on the ice, I felt kinda wobbly at first. My feet weren't stable and my movements were stiff. But then, I adapted to it easily and pretty soon, I was dashing across the ice. Poor Joaquin fell, and I hope it didn't hurt much.

Skating is a very relaxing sport. It made me feel liberated, forgetting all my problems and shortcomings. I really enjoyed it, and I thank Joaquin for talking me into it. I had so much fun, and believe it or not, I told my mom this morning that I didn't want a debut for my 18th birthday. Instead, I told her that I wanted take skating lessons.

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WARNING: This entry of mine was written in fury. It's very negative, but rest assured, it contains no profanity.


My moodswings have gotten worse lately. I've been an extremely negative person. I constantly snap at my mom. My expression has been downcast and desolate. I feel angry and frustrated all the time, even if I'm not PMS-ing.

I guess it's because of my school. In my previous entries, I've been ranting, rambling, and venting, which are all cries of desperation. I BADLY want to transfer to another school. I'm sorry if I've been constantly whining, and revealing my negative side. Some of my previous entries are downright depressing, but hey, just to remind all the readers: THIS IS MY BLOG.

I haven't made a single friend in my section. I can't seem to mingle. I know that deep down, I have to take the initiative to gain friends, but something keeps holding me back. Lack of confidence, probably. But that's impossible, because I always TRY my best to do everything with confidence and assurance.

There's a girl in my section who goes to the same church. I was expecting to become friends with her, because we hung out a few times before, back in 3rd year. Turns out, she wasn't exactly thrilled with being classmates with me. She's befriending all those who conspired against me, and she's been giving me the cold shoulder.

It's such a nuisance, and I can't believe her. She's so two-faced (no offense) and when I hung out with her, all she talked about WAS HERSELF. I did my best to humor her, paying attention and asking questions (about herself) and being NICE to her. Then she treats me like trash. Gosh, girls are so convoluted! It's so much easier to make friends with the opposite gender.

I don't know how long I can contain myself. I'm on the verge of exploding. I'm doing my best to control myself. Sure you can humiliate me, bully me, make me cry, ruin my reputation-- whatever floats your boat. But don't ever test my patience. No one has ever encountered the angry side of me, and believe me, it's not pleasant.

Arg, dear God.. I don't know what to do. I need sustenance.

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My parents flew in from Sydney this morning. I woke up to the sound of my dad's voice, anouncing that they were home. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, then ran downstairs into my mom and dad's open arms.

Oh how I missed them! We helped them with their luggage and they began to open up various boxes that contained chocolates, Australian goodies, cans of yummy Hamper corn beef, and of course, TONS of clothes for my siblings and I. Ah, the perfect souvenir.

My sister had requested for tank tops and halters, but I on the other hand had requested for long sleeves, hoodies, and other preppy clothes. I consider myself VERY conservative. I rarely wear skirts or sleeveless tops, and I usually prefer 'smart casual' outfits. I detest wearing miniskirts and tank tops. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm perfectly happy with my taste in clothing.

My family and I had lunch in Greenbelt, to celebrate both my Father's birthday and their arrival. We ate in Rockefeller, this really cute Seafood and Steak restaurant. We ordered so much food, and they were all absolutely delectable. We also shared this mouthwatering Molten Chocolate Lava Cake on the Skillet for desert. It had a scoop of Vanilla ice cream on top, and it was delicious!

Afterwards, we went to Duty Free and bought more goodies. My family and I are very practical. We don't buy the stuff you can buy in the Philippines. Instead, we purchase those that can only be bought in other countries.

I'm really overjoyed because I missed my parents, and I thank God for protecting them against any danger, and for looking after their things and their plane. It's good to have them back.

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I did not go to school today, because I was feeling weak and sick. I had fever and a really terrible sore throat. My nose is clogged too.

I felt disappointed because I was looking forward to go to school today, not because of my classmates but for my education. Last night, I worked dilligently on all my assignments that were due today, making sure that every homework I did deserved a perfect score. I also reviewed my notes to prepare for any pop quizzes or oral recitations.

To my dismay, I woke up this morning with a painful headache. My sister took my temperature and made me stay home and rest. She didn't want me to get worse, or to catch the AH1N1 virus due to my low resistance. So much for my hard work.

My grades and achievements are the reasons that make me go to school. If it weren't for those two important factors, I would've dropped out in a second. They hold me and they prevent me from breaking down.

Rather than sulking and feeling sorry for myself, I push away my disappointments, longings, and bitterness, and immediately do my homework, study for quizzes, and read in advance. I feel elated once I accomplish everything written in my planner, and it makes me feel in control once again.

Tomorrow's a holiday, so we have a long weekend ahead. I already finished all my assignments that are due next week, including the mind-boggling lab report. I'm done studying for the quizzes I have missed today, and I'm done studying for the quizzes next week.

Already, I feel calm. I have a long weekend to enjoy and with all the work finished, I wouldn't have to worry about school. Maybe tomorrow, I will study some more for the UPCAT and ACET. I have nothing to do so I might as well do something productive and beneficial.

I'm still praying fervently for St. Paul to shut down due to the AH1N1. I may have wrong motives, but I do have my reasons too.

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Our dismissal was at 3:15pm today, which was relieving. I absolutely cannot stand the heat in our school anymore. They turned off all the aircon units to impede the infamous AH1N1 virus. The electric fans are not enough, and the topics are difficult to comprehend when you're in the same classroom with 39 other people who (including yourself) are perspiring.

I don't understand why they can't shut the school down. Ateneo's officially closed, I find it rather unfair. I DESPERATELY want to take a break. I know for a fact that it's only been three days, but I've been unambiguously disconsolate.

Liza IM'ed me last night (thank you so much!) and she said that maybe I could transfer to Reedley this school year. Their classes start next week, and she told me that they were still accepting seniors. She gave a brief background about Reedley, and she made it sound so incredible; from the curriculum to the teachers. I wondered if it was possible to switch schools, even if you have submitted your UPCAT form to your current school.

I did my inquiries though. I asked our guidance counselor if it was possible to transfer. She said that the registrar has already collected all the UPCAT forms, and there was no way that I can ask for it back. She also mentioned that if I were to transfer, I wouldn't be able to get a recommendation letter because the authorities in Reedley do not know me personally.

To make the long story short, she gave me a solid 'no'. I cannot change schools anymore, and I felt dejected.

Liza told me that she had her own experience with the mean girls, and how it's like to be invisible. Like me, those from her previous school disliked her for no apparent reason. I told her that I could actually relate, and that I didn't understand why girls can be so evil when you're not able to reach their standards. How judgemental of them.

The sad part is this: I NEVER FELT INVISIBLE. I wish I could be, but my school mates NOTICE me easily. Once I pass them by, they immediately begin to sneer and whisper among themselves. That irritates me-- why can't they just tell me directly? I would love to know what they hate about me. It would hurt, but I don't understand why they have to talk about me, spread rumors, etc.

I'm willing to befriend all those bullies, if they would give me a chance. Girls nowadays can be so cruel. Girl world's hard. With boys, they settle their disputes through fighting. Sure, you'd get hurt physically, but at least it would be finished afterwards. For us girls, it takes a LONG time. Maybe forever, due to grudges and God knows what.

I feel desperate. I'm doing well in my studies, but I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS in my section. I want to transfer terribly, or at least get the school year over with. I hope that I can make it to UP AND Ateneo. For now, I feel hopeless. I willed myself not to cry in vain, but I've been unhappy. This'll probably be my unhappiest year in St. Paul.

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I AM SO BITTER! Wait actually I feel confused. Mixed with emotions. Bitter, hurt, at wits end.. Oh and yes, ANGRY. Gosh, I feel absolutely furious. I'm trying not to pound on the keyboard, but I just find life really unfair. UNFAIR!

Ateneo got suspended because the AH1N1 virus has struck their school. Classes for them will be resumed on the 22nd. When I heard about the news, I was partly concerned because some of the people who have the flu are my friends. I feel bad for them, especially my friends from section G. 20 of them were absent today.

I said I was PARTLY concerned. But I'm feeling really angry right now. All the hate and anger rushing through my veins. I can't help but feel frustrated with the fact that St. Paul is indeed still in tact, and will be having classes while Ateneo shuts down for 10 days. I know that it's a blessing for us paulinians because none of us have AH1N1, BUT I find it really unfair.

This is the first time I've exploded. I guess I went through a lot. Yesterday was the first day of school, and it was just awful. I hate the fact that I don't have any friends in my section, and I also hate myself for not knowing how to act around my classmates. I can't seem to make friends, and that dismays me.

I've been crying nonstop lately. Think of me as a crybaby, but whatever. THIS IS MY BLOG, and I have EVERY RIGHT to release and vent. I'm really unhappy and I just don't know what to do. I still do my school work with dilligence, but I feel hollow. And desperate. I can't wait for this school year to end.

Normally, I would be careful with the things I type-- but I'm just really overwhelmed. I want to get rid of the hatred and anger brewing inside me.

To make things worse, Joaquin texted me about the suspension in AHS. Then he happily tells me that he's going to Tagaytay tomorrow with his family and bla bla bla. I really lost it. Screw him! It didn't make me feel any better. I'm stuck in my stupid school working my butt out while he goes off having fun. Jealousy ugh.

Yesterday I was begging my mom to transfer me to another school. I cried and blubbered to her over the phone since they're out of the country. I'm trying my best to accept my section, but I can't seem to feel any better. I feel worse, actually. All these circumstances have not helped me at all.

I hate my life.

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First day of school, and my first day as a senior. My sister drove me to school today since my parents are in Australia. I was excited yet slightly nervous. Okay maybe less on the excitement, because I realized that I had dragged my feet all the way to my section this morning.

It still pains me that all my close friends are in section one, and I was put in section eight. Talk about major isolation. That's not all; my heart felt heavy when I saw that I had no friends in section 8. Most of the people in that same section are those whom I had controversies with, and the aura was heavy. Tension was in the air.

I met my adviser, and she seemed strict. I plan on getting to know her better though. I still feel sad that all my friends are far away. Environment is a big factor when it comes to education. If the environment is not healthy.. Well we can expect the worst and hope for the better.

I spent recess and lunch with Camille, Chelene, and Talia. They're all in section one. The moment the bell rang, I dashed out of my classroom and walked briskly down the hall. Section one's very far from my classroom, and I can't help but wonder if the distance will be a big factor.

Deep down, I know that my friends and I wouldn't be as close anymore, because of the distance. Sure, I can eat with them each day, but spending the entire day with them in the same classroom is a huge difference. If only..

I'm fully prepared with my studies. I plan to work hard and hopefully be part of the honors this school year. We already have homeworks and quizzes for tomorrow, and I plan to get moving. Altercations and disputes won't hinder me from doing my work with excellence. Mediocrity's so out of the question.

I also plan to be friendly with ALL my classmates, even if it would be difficult. Please pray that I make new friends. It is hard to love your enemies, but I'm the kind of person who gives people the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully my classmates accept me for me, and vice versa.

9 hours every day, for one whole school year. Ten months.. Ten months to go..

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The rain came pouring down early this morning. It was so strong. I woke up and could barely go back to sleep. Classes are suspended today so it must be a real lucky break for Ateneo. I swear, they are beyond fortunate. First day of school (yesterday) for them is half day. Every Friday, they're out at 1pm sharp.

In my school, there's no consideration-- first day or not. We're out at 4:15pm and on Thursdays and Fridays, we're out at 3:15pm. Then we have to be in school before 7:15am because we have morning rites and all that. We're also not allowed to bring cellphones. Boo.

Anyway, my morning has been exciting so far. It's the big game: Lakers VS. Magic. I'm rooting for Magic, but it seems to me that EVERYONE's rooting for Lakers. I sure hope that Magic wins. Personally, I'm not very fond of Kobe.

My favorite team for this season so far is Cleveland: The Cavaliers. My favorite player is Lebron James. I believe that he's going to be a legend someday, like Michael Jordan or Vince Carter-- all excellent players.

I was never good in Basketball, but I've always wanted to learn. I'm so much better when it comes to soccer. Next summer, I'm planning to enroll in a basketball summer clinic. It's never too late to learn, right?

P.S. OC CALDERON, thank you so much for encouraging me. I totally appreciate your support. I miss you, and I hope that you're feeling better with the whole you-know-what. ILY!

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My parents left for Australia. We took them to the airport at 6am this morning and exchanged a round of final hugs and goodbyes. I miss them already, and I hope they have a safe trip.

I already stuck labels on my books and notebooks and I don't feel like wrapping my books yet. I know I should be doing it, but I decided to just laze around for awhile. I'm a normally busy person, but today seems like a very perfect day to just relax and do nothing school-related.

I watched Meet the Robinsons on TV, and I have to admit that it's one of the coolest movies I've ever seen. It's about family and success. It's very motivating, and one thing I learned from the movie is to keep moving forward. We all have failed so many times; but with failure comes success. Failure helps us build our character, and it just pushes us to keep trying until we get it right. I'm inspired by this quote:

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My parents are leaving for Australia tomorrow, and I can't help but feel sad. Sure it's only gonna be for a week but Australia seems so far away. If they were going to Baguio for a month, I wouldn't really mind. It's not out of the country.

Since they're leaving for tomorrow, they can't take me to school on the first day. It's been a tradition for us. During the first day of the school year, they make it a point to drive me to school. It's a very loving gesture, and it makes me feel safe because I know that they are always there to support me.

Now, they wouldn't be able to witness my first day as a senior. My sister offered to take me instead, and I guess it's better than nothing.

School starts on Monday, and I already started preparing. I bought a new school bag which has this really cool pink and beige plaid design. I consider myself as a preppy person-- and so does Joaquin. I enjoy looking preppy. I believe that it makes me look smart and proper enough.

Joaquin is saving up to buy a backpack similar to what I've purchased, but he wants the blue and beige instead of the pink one. How cute is that?

I have printed labels for my things and I shall start wrapping all my school books tomorrow. I bought new school supplies and I can't wait to fix all my stuff, especially my accordion.

I'm amazed on how fast summer went by. I can still recall the last day of school. We were all excited for summer. Plans were made, friends were contacted, etc.

Now, it's the other way around. Everyone's preparing for school and enjoying the last days of summer at the same time. On Monday, my senior year begins. I'm savoring what's left of my summer, because I don't think I'm ready to go to school yet.

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My parents and I went to school today. We sent a letter of appeal to our principal, requesting for transfer of sections. I'm not very close to our principal and I think only a few girls are, for St. Paul is a very big school.

I was nervous and negative thoughts came pouring down. I clutched my stomach and looked at my parents skittishly. In a few moments, I would know the results. My fate would be decided.

After giving a brief history of my high school life, our principal finally came to a conclusion. She would have a meeting with the other teachers and our guidance counselor. Then they will decide where to put me. They didn't promise to put me in the same section with my friends.

While I told our principal the issue, I broke down to tears. I willed myself to stop crying, but it didn't work. I felt their sympathy, and right before my eyes, our own school principal turned to a mother from a strict disciplinarian. She said that her heart reached out to people who were experiencing the same pain I've endured.

When we left the office, I began to cry again. Then the principal came out of the office. She asked why I was still crying. Despite the snot and tears streaked on my face, I turned to her and told her the bravest snap decision I had ever made. I bet it even surprised my parents.

I told her to revoke the letter. I told her that I would face my section. It's where God put me and once God has given me a job, my task is to accept it and to finish it with EXCELLENCE. Mediocrity was so out of the question.

I could tell that they were proud of me. I took a very big chance, and it was just the beginning. I had a lot to face for the next ten months. My principal promised to look out for me and I felt touched by her offer.

I am prepared to struggle and face the challenge. I believe that I made a decision that I won't regret-- ever. I place all my burdens at the feet of Jesus. Let my cup of suffering be taken away from me, for I have died to self.

Where God puts me is always the best place; in his perfect timing. Besides, everything has its season, everything happens for a reason. I'm going to face them, with renewed purpose and determination. I'm going to excel and be kind and forgiving to them as well. I won't mess up, and I accept this challenge.

They can humiliate me, shame me, take all my friends away from me, say all they want about me, destroy my reputation, label me, bully me.. But they can NEVER break me. I am not a quitter. I am simply going to finish this race in a CLEAN and FAIR manner. They can never make me quit.

I'm going to reach the finish line feeling victorious. I shall fight this battle with the help of my God. For my God is bigger than they are. After all, I shouldn't be afraid of these girls. I should be afraid of the creator who can annihilate his creations in a blink of an eye.

To all those who have been bullied, do not fret. Your time will come soon.

In life, we will all be faced by similar challenges, but I believe that we will all surpass them victoriously. We have a God of faithfulness and without injustice.

I may have died to self. Dying is never easy, but Resurrection is sure to come.

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These are my thoughts and blogging is a good way to release whatever I'm feeling. Please don't judge. Everyone has the right to lament once in awhile.

This is the story of my past:

Throughout my High School life, I was probably the unhappiest student in St. Paul. You see, I always had controversies with my classmates, and I was mostly bullied. My reputation was at stake, rumors about me flying everywhere. Even those who never became my classmates looked at me with such contempt.

It all began with a friend of mine whom I had a huge misunderstanding with. To cut the long story short, I was backstabbed and left with no friends. It had always been like that until I reached my 3rd year.

I felt tired of being the underdog, tired of being judged. I wanted to prove these people wrong, because I knew that deep down, I was not the person who they thought I was. I had spent most of my time in the Guidance Office, talking to the counselor and literally bawling my eyes out to her. I begged my parents to transfer me to another school, because I could not understand girl world.

Last school year of 2008, I walked through the halls of my school with my heavy bookbag, and with my head held high. I was determined to make friends, and I've learned a lot. I did get my wish. I had two best friends, and I belonged to a group of wonderful, quirky girls. I spent my summer with them, and I had the best time of my life.

This year, I was dreading to see the list of sections. We get re-shuffled every year. It would be really lucky if you were classmates with one of your good friends. All month I prayed to God. I prayed for a good section.

The sections were finally posted and when I saw it, my stomach did a double flop. I was placed in a section with people who I did not get along with. I scanned the list and saw no friendly name. To my horror, my two best friends were CLASSMATES again, in a section FAR FAR away from mine.

I broke down for the first time in my life. I began to think that my life wasn't fair, because I bet no one can fathom the misery and pain I have endured in my school for the past years. It's not very pleasant to be the underdog in my school. Of course, I tried to do my best to get along with these school mates of mine, but no such luck. They couldn't accept me and still thought that I was an ultimate b*tch.

I know I have my own flaws, but I believe that I changed-- for the better. And I know that I never tried to do anything atrocious to them. I did a quick check up on myself too, because maybe it's my perspective. But it isn't. Our guidance counselor knows what these people did to me, and I thank her for supporting me all along. I've always cried out to her, trying to release everything.

Now, it's my senior year. My friends are far away all together in a different section. I already sent a letter, appealing for a transfer. I can't help but feel remorseful because I was put in a section with my mean classmates. For the next ten months, I'm with them. That's an awfully long time.

Ten months... My last ten months...

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Yesterday was the first day of June. I had a bit of an argument with my mom until she advised me to change my attitude and perspective, because it was June 1. I was puzzled and my mom quickly explained that since it was a Monday and the start of June, it was so much better to have an aimable temperament due to karma, and of course for my own good.

School starts next week, and I need to shape up and have a positive point of view in preparation for the circumstances that are bound to come my way.

Anyway, I was able to buy school supplies with Joaquin in Podium. I had so much fun. I just love shopping for school supplies. Then after that, he rode in the car with my mom and I and she drove us to Eastwood. We were meeting people whom we haven't seen for the longest time.

We arrived in Eastwood and we immediately saw Tal, who was going up the escalator. Then we met up with the rest of the group: Anton, Drei, Celine, Kevin, Liza, and Miggy. The sight was so refreshing. Drei immediately walked up to us and showed off his soccer shirt (show off!) and started teasing me because we made a bet during the finals. He was rooting for Barcelona and they won. So I lost, unfortunately.

Then the group broke into a joyful chatter, voices echoing throughout the floor. Eastwood was pretty much dead and silent. I stood quiet, observing the scene. I couldn't help but smile in appreciation. I look up to these people because they're wholesome and really fun to be with.

We watched Angels and Demons. I was just starting to relax in my cushy seat when my lower abdomen started to ache. I tried to ignore the pain, but it got worse. Oh dear, cramps. I felt all hot and sweaty, and the pain was excruciating. This is a disadvantage I always experience evey month. We girls have to undergo this uncomfortable monthly visits we get.

Shy arrived after the movie. I tried my best to act natch and just enjoy, but the pain was too unbearable. It got worse, especially while walking. I had to excuse myself in order to look for a nearby pharmacy. Because of the extreme pain, I failed to humor the jokes of the others about buying drugs, etc. Joaquin accompanied me, and we had to walk all the way to the entrance of Eastwood to buy pain killers. Good grief. We missed dinner because I couldn't walk anymore, and we slowly went back because there were nice couches outside the cinemas. I eventually had to lie down, enduring the pain.

When I got better, Joaquin and I decided to play billiards to make up for the painful time I experienced and we quickly texted the others to join us. Too bad Liza and Kevin weren't able to join us. They had left after dinner, and we weren't able to say goodbye. Then after a round of billiards, Drei, Miggy, and Anton left. Jake and Chan weren't able to make it, but Jake showed up in the evening. He was with his family, and Tal, Celine, Joaquin, and I ran off to greet him.

To sum it all up, I can say that it was an almost perfect day. Too bad I had cramps. Great timing. I am thankful that Joaquin introduced me to the Brotherhood. I'm still relatively new, and I still feel shy and slightly out of place whenever I go with them, but I do hope that I can cultivate relationships with each and everyone of them.

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