I AM SO BITTER! Wait actually I feel confused. Mixed with emotions. Bitter, hurt, at wits end.. Oh and yes, ANGRY. Gosh, I feel absolutely furious. I'm trying not to pound on the keyboard, but I just find life really unfair. UNFAIR!

Ateneo got suspended because the AH1N1 virus has struck their school. Classes for them will be resumed on the 22nd. When I heard about the news, I was partly concerned because some of the people who have the flu are my friends. I feel bad for them, especially my friends from section G. 20 of them were absent today.

I said I was PARTLY concerned. But I'm feeling really angry right now. All the hate and anger rushing through my veins. I can't help but feel frustrated with the fact that St. Paul is indeed still in tact, and will be having classes while Ateneo shuts down for 10 days. I know that it's a blessing for us paulinians because none of us have AH1N1, BUT I find it really unfair.

This is the first time I've exploded. I guess I went through a lot. Yesterday was the first day of school, and it was just awful. I hate the fact that I don't have any friends in my section, and I also hate myself for not knowing how to act around my classmates. I can't seem to make friends, and that dismays me.

I've been crying nonstop lately. Think of me as a crybaby, but whatever. THIS IS MY BLOG, and I have EVERY RIGHT to release and vent. I'm really unhappy and I just don't know what to do. I still do my school work with dilligence, but I feel hollow. And desperate. I can't wait for this school year to end.

Normally, I would be careful with the things I type-- but I'm just really overwhelmed. I want to get rid of the hatred and anger brewing inside me.

To make things worse, Joaquin texted me about the suspension in AHS. Then he happily tells me that he's going to Tagaytay tomorrow with his family and bla bla bla. I really lost it. Screw him! It didn't make me feel any better. I'm stuck in my stupid school working my butt out while he goes off having fun. Jealousy ugh.

Yesterday I was begging my mom to transfer me to another school. I cried and blubbered to her over the phone since they're out of the country. I'm trying my best to accept my section, but I can't seem to feel any better. I feel worse, actually. All these circumstances have not helped me at all.

I hate my life.

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