I've been absolutely confused lately. And unhappy. And lost. And lonely.

Maybe it's because of the fact that I haven't made any friends yet. Sure, I get along with some of my seatmates but they have their own thing going-- and I wouldn't want to intrude or anything. For one thing, I hate being the odd one out, or the third wheel. Whatever you call it.

I miss my friends terribly, but they're all in section one. It's hard to start over, especially when you're so used to being with your BFFs everyday for 8 hours.

Last year, when the teacher gave us free time or when the teacher's absent and we finished our seatwork early, my friends and I would sit in a circle, knee to knee, and just talk about random things. It made time go by faster, and we end up having so much fun.

This year, it seems different. I find it hard to adjust and adapt to the environment. After the seatwork given, I just sleep or doodle in my planner, wishing hard that I was in a same section with my friends.

Life is just so unfair. I'm looking forward to graduation. I'm in no hurry to grow up, but the sooner I'm out of St. Paul, the better. St. Paul's where I experienced all the pain and turmoil, and rarely pleasant things. I used to loathe my school with such passion, but now, I just want to get it over with.

I've been lost and emotionally unstable. Studying keeps me sane and distracted, but that's about it. I hate it when I have NOTHING to do. It makes me think of all my problems, which I've been trying to compartmentalize for as long as I can remember. Somehow, I can't seem to move on-- no matter how hard I try. It's like there's a bondage that's holding me back.


I miss my previous section, my previous classmates, and my best friends.

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